just like this...

the inevitability to feel.
blessing to some.
curse to others.
the harder we try, the worse it may get.
life's about...
being happy. i always said.
how then, i asked.
like this...

am i...

i made lousy decisions.
i always question and doubt.
or am i just unfortunate.
realise that being nice never pay off.
appreciation are the hardest thing to come by.
the dark side beckon...
or am i selfish.
sometimes everything seem meaningless.
i think that's good.

confession.

i have to admit.
tried and played a couple other games...
still i love tennis.
it's the game.
i still stood in awe by those shots.
may not play a marvellous game.
but still...
i know i will never get enough.

the little green ball. xuxian.

hypnotize.

night is beautiful.
well...most days.
some songs just keep singing.
thoughts and memories come and go.
i am only one.
who?

just something i came across.

rain.

rain they say.
sometimes.
hate it.
puddle in the wet court.
roughness in the seas.
lifeless at home.
rain.
how apt.

lousy.

bad day? i ask.
crap.
and so i ask.
give me a sign.
never.
i say.
the tread i went.
fatigue.
wait.
sleep.
lousy.

stop

it keeps thrashing.
just keep flowing...
stop please.
hate it.
struggle.

the bloom of purity.

day

alarm.
bathe.
bus.
jam.
work.
lunch.
work.
bus.
jam.
home.
dinner.
chill.
tv.
laptop.
rot.
sleep.

there.

every word.
don't speak.
alright.
hanging on.
sitting by...
listen.
breathe.
smell...
the place.

a cup of tea for all.

never mind.

ok.
never mind.
words.
thoughts.
maybe.
selfish.